Recipe to make a shameless movie
1 thin plot (might completely crumble during editing of the movie – beware)
3-4 stellar actors (depending on stellarness, if small, then take 4; available in family packs)
6 non-melodious, useless, pointless songs (look in special mediocrity stores)
1 completely nondescript overacting heroine (taken in large doses causes severe hatred)
1 villain in Jodhpuri pants and diamond earrings
2-3 fast German cars (make sure they are red and shiny – you can contact the Indo-German Chamber of Commerce for support)
1 famous director (could also be famous for controversies – adjust according to taste – there is no accounting for taste anyway)
- Mix all the above ingredients together
- Add a few kids and babies from an orphanage to give it a nice dreary tone.
- Sprinkle it generously with toilet humour
- Layer some atrocious looking clothes and dialogues to make it completely unpalatable.
- Put in the oven for a couple of years.
When it is done and stinking, if you still have any taste left, you may share the misery with your friends.
I am going to wash off the taste of ‘Besharam’ with some pangalactic gargle blaster. I might never recover – I might need some therapy!