Pompeii – a 360°

25 Feb

Lots of Spoilers – so please do not read if you do not want me to give away everything!

I have the following tips for Paul W.S. Anderson’s next directorial venture:

1. By all means, assume we did not pay any attention whatsoever during history lessons at school

2. Do not cast Kiefer Sutherland – in any role… please?

3. Kit Harrington’s abs is the only reason for some of us to watch this – next movie, more abs and less of the stabbing in the diaphragm

4. If you need to cut-and-paste a screenplay together, do choose obscure films, we,the movie-going public, do like a challenge

5. Bubble speech works only in Comics – you might want to look for a different dialogue writer for 3-D movies with real people in it

6. Bird’s eye-view shots in a computer generated town works only when you are Peter Jackson and you can slip in New Zealand into some of it

7. Carie-Anne Moss is Trinity, do not waste her as a prop

Overall, I would say, stick to Milla Jovovich and Zombies – you are good at creating mass-destruction in a more of a cinematic set-up than real stories. 

And Kit, I love you as Jon Snow but you got to practise more than just your squinting-menacingly-at-your-enemies look and swordplay. The Abs, you can keep.

Ladies and Gentlemen,I would recommend Pompeii for a different reason. It is an insightful movie. All of you who claim that we are hurting the planet making it sound like it is an adorable furry little animal?  

I have news for you!

The planet is out to get us! Invest in FTL companies Now- Buy, Buy, Buy!

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2 Responses to “Pompeii – a 360°”

  1. indra February 27, 2014 at 8:47 pm #

    unfortunately I read the review for this film on dinamalar news paper and the person who wrote the review didn’t even know that pompei is in Naples,Italy instead he has written it Pompei is in USA,how about that.

    • karma2000 February 28, 2014 at 1:50 am #

      Oh yeah, it could have been either – easy mistake to make 🙂
      Perhaps, he was joking? or he probably as in point 1. did not pay any attention during history lessons or GK..

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